Does Your Relationship with Food Need Fixing?
Now that the holiday season is behind us, you're probably focused on the year ahead. I don't know about you, but 2021 couldn't come fast enough for me!
You've probably set your new year’s goals by now, and I'm guessing they might involve working out more consistently and being more mindful of the food you eat and serve to your family.
And, of course, I'm hoping you’ll include a lot more plants.
These are classic New Year's resolutions for a good reason: they are excellent goals that we should all strive for year-round.
But first, we need to tackle the elephant in the room: your relationship with food.
This is something you may not have given much thought to in the past, so I want to ask you an important question:
What comes to mind when you think about food?
When I started therapy for my binge eating disorder (I’m recovered now, thank God!), this was the question my therapist asked me.
Here are some of the words I used:
Shame. Guilt. Restriction. Enemy. My only friend. Comfort. Coping mechanism. Companion. Punishment.
If you relate to any of these phrases, I want you to know that there is hope.
I used food as a coping mechanism and suffered from a binge eating disorder for around 20 years.
But when I revisited this question 10 months later, here are the words I wrote down:
Nourishment. Pleasure. Joy. Warmth. Fuel. Blessing. Gratitude. Connection.
Remarkable, isn’t it?
Today, I want to share my top 7 tips for improving your relationship with food that I learned from 10 months of bi-weekly therapy sessions.
1. Ask yourself if you're really hungry.
You've probably heard this advice before, but if you really, truly apply it, you'll see the beauty in it. When you open the fridge, stop and think about two questions:
What need will this food fulfill?
Am I really hungry?
Many of us eat to cope with uncomfortable feelings, whether it's anxiety, stress, anger, sadness, loneliness (something that may be all too familiar now thanks to the pandemic), worry or not having enough time to devote to things that bring you joy.
I know all too well how tempting it is to turn to food to fill that void and soothe and reassure yourself, but the only need that food really fulfills is hunger.
2. Eat before you get really hungry.
Some experts suggest rating your hunger when you’re thinking of eating on a scale from 0 to 10, with 0 being famished and 10 being unbuttoning-your-pants stuffed.
Ideally, you should eat when you first get hungry, around 3 or 4 on the scale (this is when ghrelin, the hunger hormone, signals to your brain you’re hungry), and quit when you first feel comfortably full, around 6 or 7.
Although you might think it’s better to wait until you’re at 1 or 2, that can work against you as we tend to make nutritionally unwise decisions when we reach that point.
Plus, when you’re not starving, it will be easier to take your time and eat mindfully. Eating when you’re super hungry puts you on the fast track to overeating.
3. Keep a journal.
I know, I know. You don’t have time to start a journal. But this is a quick exercise that will be helpful moving forward.
Every time you emotionally eat, overeat, or binge eat, make a point of jotting down why you did it or what you were feeling in that moment. You’ll need this for #4, and it can also be nice to go through it in the future and see how far you’ve come!
4. Think of alternatives.
So, you’ve caught yourself reaching for food when you’re not truly hungry – now what?
It’s best to have a list prepared ahead of time (Psst: do this now!) of things you can do instead when those emotions that usually spur overeating strike, like those you listed in #3.
Here are a few of my personal favorites:
· Sometimes I'll just leave the house and head to an open space nearby to walk in nature while listening to some Christian music or a podcast episode (my current favorites are “That Sounds Fun” with Annie F. Downs and “Daily Grace” with Stefanie and Joanna).
· When going out isn't an option, I might turn on YouTube to watch Maverick City Music worship and sing from their soul. The mixed emotions I feel as I watch them give it their all sometimes move me to tears (okay, it should read “always” not “sometimes”).
· Study the Bible. I like the free FIRST 5 app from Proverbs 31 Ministries. It's perfect when you want to spend a few minutes studying part of the Bible, and I promise you'll feel a lot more grounded when you're finished!
· Turn to Jesus. Although sometimes I admit I end up on my knees crying out to the Lord, even just saying the phrase “Jesus, help me!” as you lift your worries up to Him can be incredibly comforting.
· Call a friend or family member. Sometimes, a heart-to-heart talk is just the ticket to helping you feel less alone. I'm not saying you need to talk about whatever is weighing on your mind - maybe you’d rather take that to Jesus than your friend - but connecting with others can really help you take your mind off of food when you weren’t really hungry in the first place.
5. Give into those cravings – within reason.
If you’re really craving a donut, I’m giving you permission to go ahead and have one every now and then. I don’t have a sweet tooth, thankfully, but I do crave something sweet about once a month (and crave savory things more often).
I’ve found that if I don’t give into it and eat something sweet, I end up going crazy and binging on sweets a few days later when no one’s looking. I would have been far better off just eating the donut when I wanted it, so now that’s exactly what I do!
6. Eat mindfully and with gratitude.
It’s hard to have a good relationship with someone you don’t know, and you can’t truly appreciate your food if you scarf it down. Sit down, engage your senses and truly savor your food. Smell it, look at it, and taste it, free of distractions. I talk about this more in my article, Overcoming Food Guilt and Shame These Holidays.
Go slowly and take a few minutes to think about how the food made its way to your plate and how fortunate you are to have access to this gift that will nourish your body.
You can also try some positive affirmations to improve your relationship with food, such as:
· This food is so good for me.
· I am about to nourish my body and spirit with God’s abundance.
· My body will know how to put this food to good use.
As Christians, we also use food for fellowship and bringing people together, just as we have seen Jesus celebrating with food with others while He walked this earth. Food is a blessing!
7. Remember that food is fuel.
Don’t forget that food is fuel for your body. Don’t eat as if your body is a garbage can. I find it helpful to think of what it is I like to do with my body that it’s going to support.
Be there for my family? Food will help me do that.
Take nature walks with my dog? Food will give me the fuel I need to keep up with him (and if you’ve caught glimpses of him on my stories, you very well know how much strength I need to keep up with him!).
Travel with my family? Nourishing food will give me the energy I need to explore the world out there.
In short, food is a gift. A real blessing.
It’s how God intended for us to fuel this beautiful machine of ours: our body. It’s how we are able to bring Him glory every day and be good stewards of His Word.
So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31)
Join In!
I’m currently working on a faith-based online course for Christian moms who want to serve their family well-balanced, plant-based meals and say buh-bye to energy crashes after mealtimes. This is going to be a step-by-step approach to transitioning to a healthy plant-based, Christ-centered lifestyle. Join my waitlist to be notified when the doors open!